WHAT IF I AM A MEDIOCRE?

WHY I CHOSE MEDIOCRITY
I wonder why people keep asking for reasons people who could have been genius (es) or genii in some areas, (forgive my use of plurals) chose to settle for mediocrity. Some people think mediocrity is cheap, but I disagree. I know too very well that mediocrity is as expensive as expensive as excellence. I for one do not sit on the spectators’ seat of criticism, assuming I know all things, to condemn people who resolved not to hug the endearing gestures of excellence. I do not like a perfectionist judge their resolve to sit with mediocrity, I do not for any reason analyse their reasons for making such resolve, for in an attempt to do that I will ultimately and eventually flaw their decisions.
At that point, I reflect myself as an individual who has always strived and attained excellence, like there have never been things, people, dreams that I gave up on. Lie I have never dashed peoples’ hopes and expectations of me. I make myself invulnerable when in reality I am vulnerably flawed.
Do you know how challenging it is to be on the spotlight with people watching your steps, your words, your carriage, your words, your look, your gaze, your posture, and you know deep down in your heart that any mistake from you will cause you criticisms from people who don’t even name a dime of what you had to go through to be up there? Same way, for those amongst many of who have chosen to bury their lives at the tomb of mediocrity, I sure know you all have reasons, of which amongst them the prominent is fear.
Like I said, most of us do not wake on the bed of life to live a life mediocrity. We have as well like most children, while we were young and with a very sharp mind-eye, sat ourselves down, either in our loneliness or solitude, to relate with our thoughts. During those periods, our imaginations had enchanted us with castled dreams of excellence that we were ready to betroth all of our devotion to.
Yes, I was amongst them, I can vividly remember that the first time I was asked what I wanted to study in the university, I had proudly said, ‘criminology’, a course that I could only learn in just a university in the whole of Nigeria, then (I can’t say of now, though). But, if you ask me now, I am so far from that, though I have instances where people do not know me have admonished that I’ll be a good investigator, but… life, it happens to us all.
I still look back and I wish I was that, but here I am today, writing. Yes! Most of us while we were young, knew we could do more than a thing. I for one, could write, talk, draw, act and some other funny things, which I will need not say.
I have during some moments of déjàvu asked myself why I went to the arts. Really, I knew I was much of a detailed person, not like arithmetic. I knew I was persuasive, I knew I could draw, but today I am not all that, I am just a few. Really, I have exceeded in only a few, because I knew if I wanted to exceed in all, I cannot so do excellently in all.
So? I chose mediocrity in some and decided to excellently excel in some. That doesn’t make me a mediocre. Sometimes it though wants to leave some dust of regrets and remorse in the breast of my heart. But, I do what I commonly do to dust, I dust it off.
The unexpressive hurt we may however feel is when we know we can excel at a thing or at so many things and we choose to do none. Some amongst us, though me is an exception will lie there on our aging bed, looking at our aging self and with a fading smile, close our eyes hoping we could rewind back into the pages of our past to correct some things or perhaps do some things we knew we could have done well. Nothing, to me hurts much like the pain of regret. It bites into our souls.
For everyone one of us, there are areas where we can be nothing but excellent. Those are the areas I feel we should explore; areas we know that our commitment to it will be un-ending.
Now, I know someone is asking me why I chose the title, ‘why I chose mediocrity’. Yes, I have chosen my mediocrity in some areas. Yes, I am a mediocre at calculations, but no, I am not in writing. If I had chosen to be a mediocre in writing so as to be excellent in calculations, I’d have eventually been an average (same as mediocre) in calculation while I die in writing.
So? I dropped those areas where I really can’t be more than average and chose the areas where I can be best. Need I say this? It is not that when you choose the areas where you can be excellent, that you automatically become perfect. The truth is a tiny amongst a few of us ever get close to perfect, and none amongst ever get to be perfect.
Oops! I know my statement is a controversy, but I choose to believe this.
My conclusion, like me, choose mediocrity in areas where you know if you make attempt to be best you will only end up frustrated, but give all of you to areas where you know even a little effort from you will put you in the limelight. Step into the talents and gifts where you know that you can be lazy and still be your best, because in such areas when you get serious on you, you break records!
Yes, it is not like I have become my best, but I press towards it with utmost devotion, enthusiasm and intelligence.
But, as for me, I care not, but I have chosen to be a mediocre in medicine, accounting, astrology and the likes, so I can be excellent in writing, speaking, and teaching.
So if you ask me why I am not a doctor, a dentist, a lawyer, an architect, an accountant, I will retort firmly, I chose mediocrity in those areas because I chose to be excellent in this.
So if someone asks you why, have a tenable answer! That’s all…