Monday, 20 May 2013
free me: WHAT IF I AM A MEDIOCRE?
free me: WHAT IF I AM A MEDIOCRE?: WHY I CHOSE MEDIOCRITY I wonder why people keep asking for reasons people who could have been genius (es) or genii in some areas, (forgive...
free me: WHEN WILL YOU DANCE WITH ME?
free me: WHEN WILL YOU DANCE WITH ME?: Save the Last Dance Yes, it was a film that I watched, though I really can’t precisely place how the plot of the story went, but I reme...
WHAT IF I AM A MEDIOCRE?
WHY I CHOSE MEDIOCRITY
I wonder why people keep asking for reasons people who could have been genius (es) or genii in some areas, (forgive my use of plurals) chose to settle for mediocrity. Some people think mediocrity is cheap, but I disagree. I know too very well that mediocrity is as expensive as expensive as excellence. I for one do not sit on the spectators’ seat of criticism, assuming I know all things, to condemn people who resolved not to hug the endearing gestures of excellence. I do not like a perfectionist judge their resolve to sit with mediocrity, I do not for any reason analyse their reasons for making such resolve, for in an attempt to do that I will ultimately and eventually flaw their decisions.
At that point, I reflect myself as an individual who has always strived and attained excellence, like there have never been things, people, dreams that I gave up on. Lie I have never dashed peoples’ hopes and expectations of me. I make myself invulnerable when in reality I am vulnerably flawed.
Do you know how challenging it is to be on the spotlight with people watching your steps, your words, your carriage, your words, your look, your gaze, your posture, and you know deep down in your heart that any mistake from you will cause you criticisms from people who don’t even name a dime of what you had to go through to be up there? Same way, for those amongst many of who have chosen to bury their lives at the tomb of mediocrity, I sure know you all have reasons, of which amongst them the prominent is fear.
Like I said, most of us do not wake on the bed of life to live a life mediocrity. We have as well like most children, while we were young and with a very sharp mind-eye, sat ourselves down, either in our loneliness or solitude, to relate with our thoughts. During those periods, our imaginations had enchanted us with castled dreams of excellence that we were ready to betroth all of our devotion to.
Yes, I was amongst them, I can vividly remember that the first time I was asked what I wanted to study in the university, I had proudly said, ‘criminology’, a course that I could only learn in just a university in the whole of Nigeria, then (I can’t say of now, though). But, if you ask me now, I am so far from that, though I have instances where people do not know me have admonished that I’ll be a good investigator, but… life, it happens to us all.
I still look back and I wish I was that, but here I am today, writing. Yes! Most of us while we were young, knew we could do more than a thing. I for one, could write, talk, draw, act and some other funny things, which I will need not say.
I have during some moments of déjàvu asked myself why I went to the arts. Really, I knew I was much of a detailed person, not like arithmetic. I knew I was persuasive, I knew I could draw, but today I am not all that, I am just a few. Really, I have exceeded in only a few, because I knew if I wanted to exceed in all, I cannot so do excellently in all.
So? I chose mediocrity in some and decided to excellently excel in some. That doesn’t make me a mediocre. Sometimes it though wants to leave some dust of regrets and remorse in the breast of my heart. But, I do what I commonly do to dust, I dust it off.
The unexpressive hurt we may however feel is when we know we can excel at a thing or at so many things and we choose to do none. Some amongst us, though me is an exception will lie there on our aging bed, looking at our aging self and with a fading smile, close our eyes hoping we could rewind back into the pages of our past to correct some things or perhaps do some things we knew we could have done well. Nothing, to me hurts much like the pain of regret. It bites into our souls.
For everyone one of us, there are areas where we can be nothing but excellent. Those are the areas I feel we should explore; areas we know that our commitment to it will be un-ending.
Now, I know someone is asking me why I chose the title, ‘why I chose mediocrity’. Yes, I have chosen my mediocrity in some areas. Yes, I am a mediocre at calculations, but no, I am not in writing. If I had chosen to be a mediocre in writing so as to be excellent in calculations, I’d have eventually been an average (same as mediocre) in calculation while I die in writing.
So? I dropped those areas where I really can’t be more than average and chose the areas where I can be best. Need I say this? It is not that when you choose the areas where you can be excellent, that you automatically become perfect. The truth is a tiny amongst a few of us ever get close to perfect, and none amongst ever get to be perfect.
Oops! I know my statement is a controversy, but I choose to believe this.
My conclusion, like me, choose mediocrity in areas where you know if you make attempt to be best you will only end up frustrated, but give all of you to areas where you know even a little effort from you will put you in the limelight. Step into the talents and gifts where you know that you can be lazy and still be your best, because in such areas when you get serious on you, you break records!
Yes, it is not like I have become my best, but I press towards it with utmost devotion, enthusiasm and intelligence.
But, as for me, I care not, but I have chosen to be a mediocre in medicine, accounting, astrology and the likes, so I can be excellent in writing, speaking, and teaching.
So if you ask me why I am not a doctor, a dentist, a lawyer, an architect, an accountant, I will retort firmly, I chose mediocrity in those areas because I chose to be excellent in this.
So if someone asks you why, have a tenable answer! That’s all…
WHEN WILL YOU DANCE WITH ME?
Save the Last Dance
Yes, it was a film that I watched, though I really can’t precisely place how the plot of the story went, but I remember vividly that the main character had to flow through challenges at home, with her love for a black-American guy and her interest in ballet.
… At the end she had her feat. I guess that’s how the plots of most stories go.
However, I am not really much into expressing the movie content, since at present I am not yet a movie-critic, neither am I a movie-maker. (I hope to someday though). Still the title of this soft piece still appeals to me.
It is like it opens a mirror of series of explanations on how to walk through teenage-hood. Yeah, I really can’t say I had that beautiful sort of teenage-hood, but sometimes when I get to reminisce, I get to realize that there are some actions that I ought to have saved for the last dance and you ought to save for the last dance. I am not giving a rule though, but like Joshua of the Christian Bible, I am just giving you choices to pick from.
Like the laws of economics, where you set a scale of preference, putting them in the order of the most important, there are certain things in our lives that should be placed on a scale of preference. Perhaps, some amongst them can even become forgone alternatives. This some economics adherents call opportunity cost.
Now, I do not want to confuse you, so I will come straight. Much like adults, teenagers as well as youths have instances when we are pressured by the sheer excitement of trying something new, or perhaps because of an influence generated from somewhere (which could be from our friends, the media or from ourselves), we tend to take steps that ultimately hurts us.
Yes, I have done things that I either did to please my friends or because they pushed me to, either way I made the choice and I bear the brunt or the good (either side of the coin). This equally applies to you.
My plan is to help you through my dialogue to determine the things that should fall into your scale of preference and priorities. I hope to help you equally on how to know those things that should be saved for the last dance.
Some things, when we do them now may not bring to us the ovation of people and some if we do them now will bring the accolades we desire. Those are the things we will be sorting together in this piece.
If I were to ask a student, a teenager or a youth, ‘list 7 most important things in your life that you must have achieved in the next 7 years’, and I assume, such is between the age of 15-17, this is what I expect (forgive my assumption):
The truth is that I had a goal, and somehow it shaped most of my decisions from time to time.
Now, you are getting bored and you are asking, ‘what exactly are you saying?’
This is the point:
In your life-dance, your academics and your visions should be your first dance. You and I very well see in the streets of Lagos, that those who dance to immorality instead of their academics and visions end up becoming nuisance and as a result, they contribute more to the society than the society itself.
Research has shown that most of the atrocities that are prevalent in the society are committed by youths who have no sense of purpose. Their lots most of the times is a primitive, rough life that eventually end their lives early.
Very well, the most predominant evil of these juvenile delinquencies are the plethora news on teenage pregnancies, teenage-mothers, abortions and gangster-ism (just to name a few). For them you and I know they refused to save the last dance. I suppose for most of us, this is not our desire.
Really, for me, I am not day-dreaming of just wishing. My desires are not just castles built in the air, they are desires that I am following doggedly. I do not wish to marry a half-baked woman. I need someone classy lady, smart (who has gone to school), a career or business person, sound, intelligent. Someone I can take out and be proud of, someone I can make reference to. Someone I can sit beside her as she is on the wheels driving and just keep admiring, such beauty I can only find in a woman who has saved her last dance, for me.
Succinctly, I can only opt for a woman with a purpose, because it is only such that can save the last dance. Really, such last dance is always the best of dance, since such has kept the best dance for that period. I know this equally goes for the female folks.
I ask you ‘are you saving your last dance?’. For the record, don’t save it for me, save it for...
Enjoy!
Yes, it was a film that I watched, though I really can’t precisely place how the plot of the story went, but I remember vividly that the main character had to flow through challenges at home, with her love for a black-American guy and her interest in ballet.
… At the end she had her feat. I guess that’s how the plots of most stories go.
However, I am not really much into expressing the movie content, since at present I am not yet a movie-critic, neither am I a movie-maker. (I hope to someday though). Still the title of this soft piece still appeals to me.
It is like it opens a mirror of series of explanations on how to walk through teenage-hood. Yeah, I really can’t say I had that beautiful sort of teenage-hood, but sometimes when I get to reminisce, I get to realize that there are some actions that I ought to have saved for the last dance and you ought to save for the last dance. I am not giving a rule though, but like Joshua of the Christian Bible, I am just giving you choices to pick from.
Like the laws of economics, where you set a scale of preference, putting them in the order of the most important, there are certain things in our lives that should be placed on a scale of preference. Perhaps, some amongst them can even become forgone alternatives. This some economics adherents call opportunity cost.
Now, I do not want to confuse you, so I will come straight. Much like adults, teenagers as well as youths have instances when we are pressured by the sheer excitement of trying something new, or perhaps because of an influence generated from somewhere (which could be from our friends, the media or from ourselves), we tend to take steps that ultimately hurts us.
Yes, I have done things that I either did to please my friends or because they pushed me to, either way I made the choice and I bear the brunt or the good (either side of the coin). This equally applies to you.
My plan is to help you through my dialogue to determine the things that should fall into your scale of preference and priorities. I hope to help you equally on how to know those things that should be saved for the last dance.
Some things, when we do them now may not bring to us the ovation of people and some if we do them now will bring the accolades we desire. Those are the things we will be sorting together in this piece.
If I were to ask a student, a teenager or a youth, ‘list 7 most important things in your life that you must have achieved in the next 7 years’, and I assume, such is between the age of 15-17, this is what I expect (forgive my assumption):
- I should have learnt good skills and how to make them marketable (this could be singing, writing, drawing, sewing, crafts, baking to name a few).
- I should have graduated in school with the best result or perhaps an average at the least.
- I should have a 1st degree, perhaps a Masters if possible
- I should have started working.
- I should be getting ready to marry.
- I should be successful or perhaps already stepping into limelight in my chosen profession.
- (I’ll leave the 7th one for you to fill in).
The truth is that I had a goal, and somehow it shaped most of my decisions from time to time.
Now, you are getting bored and you are asking, ‘what exactly are you saying?’
This is the point:
In your life-dance, your academics and your visions should be your first dance. You and I very well see in the streets of Lagos, that those who dance to immorality instead of their academics and visions end up becoming nuisance and as a result, they contribute more to the society than the society itself.
Research has shown that most of the atrocities that are prevalent in the society are committed by youths who have no sense of purpose. Their lots most of the times is a primitive, rough life that eventually end their lives early.
Very well, the most predominant evil of these juvenile delinquencies are the plethora news on teenage pregnancies, teenage-mothers, abortions and gangster-ism (just to name a few). For them you and I know they refused to save the last dance. I suppose for most of us, this is not our desire.
Really, for me, I am not day-dreaming of just wishing. My desires are not just castles built in the air, they are desires that I am following doggedly. I do not wish to marry a half-baked woman. I need someone classy lady, smart (who has gone to school), a career or business person, sound, intelligent. Someone I can take out and be proud of, someone I can make reference to. Someone I can sit beside her as she is on the wheels driving and just keep admiring, such beauty I can only find in a woman who has saved her last dance, for me.
Succinctly, I can only opt for a woman with a purpose, because it is only such that can save the last dance. Really, such last dance is always the best of dance, since such has kept the best dance for that period. I know this equally goes for the female folks.
I ask you ‘are you saving your last dance?’. For the record, don’t save it for me, save it for...
Enjoy!
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