MY FLAWS AND ME

WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE PANTS

I have walked through the shadows of uncertainties in my life trying to assume the eventual results of my life. I have like a blind man without his stick taken the bold step of faith to fearfully leap the next step of my actions and words.

Like most of us, we have all at one time or the other made statements we wished we could reverse; we have taken steps that have cost us a fortune; caused us a  heavy-heart of regrets as a result of the deep-bruising-blows. At such times we do feel like filths...like pants!

If I lie, ask a stock investor who has immersed his entire savings into the stock market but has been punched with the reality of the meltdown that has befallen the finances of the world.

A serious climate change it is!

A deviation though,

So? You ask,

'Asirvo, what's your point this time around?’

I'm sure you know that most of us run away from sins not 'cause we have the virtues that are above sin, but for the fear of what people will say and how our loved ones will fair with it’. 'cause I know that for some of us if these are removed we will be free... (As in, 'free-to-sin'). I mean free to dare sin.

My problem with sin is that if it was not sweet, only a few amongst the 7 billion of us will be found raping sin, or perhaps looting sin's treasury.

How will you feel if you are caught pants-down or red-handed caressing and canoodling sin?

Sure!

You will feel like pants!

You just feel like jeez...wishing you were day-dreaming.

Those of us who have to steal from the pot when we were young, from mum's purse, tell a lie, or peep through a neighbour's bathroom's key hole and were caught know what it means to be caught pants-down. Yes! Such do not need be told what it means to feel like pants! I remember there was a day my mother caught me at the verge of putting the meat from her pot in my mouth. I shouldn’t tell you what happened afterwards…

Still a deviation,

Yet, I will plead that you forgive my beating around.

The truth that I desire to establish from this note is that do not wait before you are caught pants down before you change. Let a godly sorrow find its place in your heart so that it can lead to repentance. It is still better if man catches you pants down, but God will not catch you pants down, He will reveal you to the world pants down!

Just change your ways before He reveals you pants down!

Now my other story...

Me?

I have had times that I felt like pants; times that I had spoken and I wish I could swallow not just my phlegm both the alphabets and the contents of my words.

There have been times and situations that I had planned to shake someone's hands, give a hug, or warm someone's heart with a smile, a word, some comments, a peck, or a friendly kiss of assurance (to clear your mind: on the forehead) and it turns awkward as a result of my or their 'reactions'.

Like sometime in the pages of my past while I was a minister someplace where bias had entered the virtues of Christianity I had been cautioned to an extent in which I saw hugging a sister or giving an handshake as a 'sin'.

Such guises of hypocrisy in which you act like Peter, (When he was with Paul and the other apostles came. He seeing them left the gentile-brethren for the 'sanctity' that the Jewish-apostles professed.)

 Trust the guy Paul,

He withstood Peter to his face challenging his hypocrisy.

I got so brainwashed that I stopped shaking hands with the Eves who are the 'breaths that issue life'.

Thank God for a saint Nelson who helped me return to me. She flooded my heart with light, asking a conundrum:

'Victor! What have they done to you?'

It was until then that light flooded my heart and I marveled at my hypocrisy. That realisation made me feel like pants!

How could I?

Like some among the most of us, there were times you woke up to this reality and you are like...God! How could I?

I have had several of a time when I will give a comment, drop a note, give an embrace and I will get myself drowned in the sea of misinterpretation that such people will present. I have also myself been in the shoes of such save that I don’t always voice mine. I bury them like treasures in the heart. Like saying:

'mo wa fi oro si ikun bi agba, mi de demo bi ologbo'

Yet, when I realise my distorted views of things, I do greatly feel like pants.

The truth is this:

We all have at one time in our lives felt like pants. But we can only feel like pants, we shouldn't be pants (silly, foolish, make mistakes, do bad things or act hypocritically. Be real inside and outside, so that when you are caught by anyone or revealed to the public by God, you won’t feel like pants).

Learn!